Secret Admirer
by SoldierG65434-2
Summary: Someone has a crush on the Captain of the Second Division. The question is, who?


**DISCLAIMER:** The rights to all copyrighted material mention henceforth in this document are owned by their respective owners.

This is my entry for a fluff contest on the YoruSoi FC on BleachAsylum.

Don't worry, I'm still working of "By Torpedo or Crohn's." I'm just doing a little creative purging while I work on the next Chapter.

* * *

Soifon awoke at four o'clock, as she did every day. She bathed and re-braided her hair, as usual. She made herself a light breakfast as she did every day. She cleaned the dishes like always and headed for the door. She slid open the shoji and took a step outside towards another ordinary day of training and reprimanding when she felt her foot kick something.

Bending down, she picked up a rectangular white box wrapped in a red bow.

"What do you have there?" A masculine voice asked from behind her. Yoruichi, currently a cat, jumped down from the roof to the railing in front of Soifon.

"I don't know." Soifon wasn't surprised to see Yoruichi so early. She had a habit of appearing at odd times. Not that Soifon minded. Yoruichi could show up in the dead of night and eat all of Soifon's food and Soifon would be ecstatic, though she wouldn't show it, lest Yoruichi pick up on the feelings that she harbored for her. Soifon pulled the string of the bow loose and removed the lid from the box. Inside were tiny chocolates molded in the shape of hearts.

"What is this nonsense?" Soifon frowned as she replaced the lid on the box.

"Anonymous gifts of a romantic nature?" Yoruichi batted her tail. "It looks like you have yourself a Secret Admirer."

"Secret Admirer?" Soifon raised an eyebrow.

"You know, someone who has the hots for you but is too shy to approach you." Yoruichi clarified.

"What utter foolishness." Soifon reenter her quarters and threw the chocolates in the garbage.

"You're just going to throw them away?" Yoruichi asked. "That's awfully cold, even for you."

"I don't know who they're from." Soifon crossed her arms. "For all I know, they could have been from an assassin who was trying to poison me."

"Or they could have been from some timid little soldier so enamored with you that they can't even speak in your presence." Yoruichi waxed poetically.

"And if they are from this 'Secret Admirer' character," Soifon continued, seemingly ignoring Yoruichi, "Then the last thing I want to do is encourage them." Sliding the shoji shut, Soifon let the chocolates fade into memory as she went about her day.

* * *

The next day began as ordinarily as the first. Soifon was pleased to find her foot didn't kick anything as she exited her quarters. Thinking the nonsense from yesterday had been resolved, Soifon made her way to her office to begin her day…

…Only to find another gift resting in her desk. It was a heart shaped box covered in red velvet and tied with a satin bow. Removing the lid, she found that it was also filled with chocolates. They looked quite good, unlike the ones form yesterday. Soifon was almost tempted to eat one, but her own paranoia stopped her.

_What if they are form an assassin?_ Soifon though as she replaced the lid. _They could be poisoned. I better have them checked. _Emptying the contents into a plain bag, Soifon made her way to the Twelfth Division Captain.

The trip was very short, given her speed. Despite the warnings posted on the door of the Captain of the Twelfth Division, she opened the door anyway.

"Who the devil…!" Mayuri spun around in his chair at the intrusion. He stopped his insult when he realized who he was talking too. It was that he was afraid of the petite woman, it was that they had an arrangement of sorts and he did not want to upset it.

"I need you to analyze something for me." Soifon answered, skipping pleasantries.

"Yes, but will I?" Mayuri asked Soifon. "You came barding in like you own the place and start demanding-"

"The Onmitsukido has turned a blind eye to your questionable practiced for quite some time." Soifon cut him off. "This is the very least you can do in return."

"Fine, fine." Mayuri held out his hand and Soifon placed the bag in it. Mayuri emptied the contents into a large colander and lit the fire under it, melting the small squares. After making sure the contents were completely homogenized, Mayuri took out a sample and placed in into a strange looking machine. After several moments, the machine printed a long sheet of paper.

"Sugar, cocoa butter, whole milk, chocolate liquor, soya lecithin, salt, vanilla," Mayuri read off the contents of the sample. "Everything you would normally find in ordinary milk chocolate." Mayuri looked at Soifon. "Tell me, what were you expecting to find?"

"They were of unknown origin and intended for my consumption," Soifon answered. "They could have been poisoned."

"Well, I assure you that they weren't." He handed the print-out to Soifon, who snatched it from him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have actual work to attend to." Soifon turned and left, her eyes glued to the paper as she walked back to the Second Division barracks. She read over it several times, yet she could find know harmful substance on the list.

_If it's not an assassin, the who could it be?_ Soifon remembered what Yoruichi said yesterday. _No, that's not possible! It has to be an assassin trying to lull me into a false sense of security._ Crumpling up the paper, Soifon threw it away and returned to her work.

* * *

Soifon exited her quarters the next day to find a black cat resting on the railing in front of her.

"Good morning, Yoruichi-sama." Soifon greeted the cat.

"Morning, Soifon." Yoruichi stretched. "How are things with your secret lover?"

"I do not have a secret lover!" Soifon shouted angrily, but her checks were the faintest hint of red.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." Yoruichi chided.

"Regardless of who is sending these…gifts," Soifon hesitated to use that word. "I've disposed of all of them."

"Oh, that's too bad." Yoruichi sighed.

"Why is that?" Soifon raised an eyebrow.

"Someone went through the trouble of picking those things out for you and you just threw them away." Yoruichi sounded hurt.

"If this 'Secret Admire' character is behind all this," Soifon indulged Yoruichi, "Then they should know better when dealing with me." Dropping the matter, Soifon turned for her office with Yoruichi following close behind her. Sliding the shoji open, every muscle in Soifon's body tensed as she spotted a camera resting on her desk.

"What is this!" Soifon growled.

"It's a camera." Yoruichi clarified.

"I_ know_ that!" Soifon snapped, visibly disturbed. "It's not a very good one, though." She mumbled.

"So, she likes photography?" Yoruichi asked, intrigued.

"Yes, I though you knew that?" Soifon began to take the camera apart. "The question is, how did they?"

"What are you doing?" Yoruichi asked as she watched Soifon's deft hands disassemble the camera.

"There could be explosives in this camera." Soifon removed some internal parts.

"Well, are there?" Yoruichi hopped up onto the desk.

"No." Soifon sighed as she slumped back in her chair. "Why would an assassin send so many false attacks?"

"Maybe they're really bad at what they do." Yoruichi purred. "Or maybe they're trying to seduce…" Soifon stopped listening.

_That cannot be what's happening!_ Soifon's mind reeled. _I can't have a secret admirer!_

_

* * *

_

Soifon finished her daily routine as usually. The memory of the camera still had her on edge. Yoruichi had left before lunch to go meet Kukaku Shiba, so Soifon was left to brood over the reality of her situation. Still unable to accept the 'Secret Admirer' theory, Soifon settled on the idea that the assassin was trying to lull her into a false sense of security.

Hoping to find respite in her quarters, Soifon slid the door open only to see another camera resting on her kitchen table. She walked over to it cautiously. It was a very nice camera, the latest in her favorite series. For the first time, Soifon was truly tempted to keep the gift.

_No!_ She screamed at herself. _It could be a trap. And if it is from this Secret Admirer, than I most definitely can't accept it. _Painfully, Soifon disposed of the camera. Then, a horrifying realization struck her.

_They were able to sneak into my quarters!_

_

* * *

_

Several days passed without another similar incident. Thinking that the would-be suitor, or assassin, had been thwarted, Soifon was utterly shocked to enter her office on day to find a single rose resting on her desk.

"What!" Soifon asked to no one. She picked up the flower cautiously only to find that the thorns had been removed. Suddenly, she heard footsteps from somewhere outside. Darting out, she scanned the immediate area, but found no one.

"Who's behind this!" Soifon shouted as she crushed the flower in her hand out of anger.

Soifon continued about her day as usually, but she was noticeably unsettled. Anxious for her day to end, she tiredly headed to her quarters at sundown, hoping to find rest there. She was not so luck, for as she opened the door, her eyes were greeted with an entire bouquet of flowers.

"OMEADA!" Soifon screamed for her oafish lieutenant as she flung the vase full of flora at the wall and watched it shatter.

"Yes, Taicho!" Omeada saluted, utterly petrified by his captains tone.

"Double the amount of men on patrol until I order otherwise." Soifon clenched and unclenched her fists in an attempt to calm down.

"But Taicho, do you think it's wise to expend that much time and effort in catching your Secret Admirer?" Omeada asked before his internal filter could stop his mouth.

"There is an intruder in the Second Division barracks." Soifon hissed, glaring at Omeada. "I want them brought to me so they can face their proper punishment."

"It would be easier to just write them a note." Omeada mumbled under his breath as he walked away. Lucky for him, Soifon did not hear him.

"I'm going to catch this person," Soifon growled, "no matter what it takes."

* * *

The next week was a very unpleasant one for Soifon. She spent the day booby-trapping her office in an effort to capture the intruder and she didn't sleep at night lest they sneak into her quarters.

Soifon couldn't decide what was more disturbing; that there was someone able to sneak past her increased guard and traps, or that this intruder really was a Secret Admirer. That fact had become undeniable to her as the week progressed.

At first, Soifon had thought that it might be an assassin trying to trick her and poison her. That theory was quickly dispelled when she flat out refused the gifts. If it were an assassin, they would have changed tactics by now.

By the intruder hadn't. Every other day there was something new. It was a never ending cycle of escalation. It was almost as if the suitor was in competition with themselves.

The idea that someone was interested in her, _romantically_, made her skin crawl. This unsettling turn of events, compounded with her self induced sleep-deprivation, put Soifon in an exponentially worse mood than she normally was.

"Taicho, the men are exhausted." Omeada complained. "They barely have enough time to rest before you have them out on patrol again."

"I don't care what it takes!" Soifon glared, the bags under her eyes clearly visible. "I want them captured!"

"Whoa, what's going on here?" Yoruichi appeared, in human form, behind Soifon.

"I still haven't caught that secr-" Soifon began before one of the members of the Onmitsukido interrupted her.

"Taicho!" He kneeled in front of her.

"What!" Soifon barked.

"We-or should I say you've-apprehended the intruder." The young man relayed.

"What do you mean? Where are they?" Soifon asked, almost desperately.

"He was captured by one of the traps you set in your office." Without waiting for another word, Soifon dashed off for her office as fast as she could.

Sure enough, a large man with long black hair tied in two braids was hanging upside down by his ankle. In his hand was a small black box.

"Identify yourself!" Soifon barked.

"I'm Tatsufusa Enjoji." The man stammered. "Third seat of the Eighth Division," He fumbled with the box. "I love you, Soifon-taicho. Marry me?" He opened the box to reveal a diamond ring. The crowed that had assembled around the scene collectively gasped. Yoruichi watched on with an expression of shock and amassment.

"You two," Soifon pointed at two random members of the Onmitsukido. "Take him away and inform him of my answerer to his proposal." Soifon smiled fiendishly. The two men cut him down and dragged him off.

"Wait…don't…I love you!" Tatsufusa screamed as he was dragged away.

"Let's see how egger he is for my hand after he sees the full breadth of my…hospitality." Soifon dispersed the crowed.

* * *

Soifon signed her name on the final paper that needed her signature. The whole Secret Admirer nonsense set her back several days on her paperwork, so she took the whole afternoon to catch-up. Little did she know that she was being watched the whole time by a caramel skinned woman with lavender hair.

Yoruichi had always had something of a crush of her former pupil. There was just something about her tom-boyish looks and how cute she was when she was flustered that was very appealing to Yoruichi. And she was relatively certain that Soifon felt the same, to some degree. Anyone who spends one hundred years training in your name, whether for good or ill, must feel strongly about you. Not to mention her breakdown after the fight.

Yoruichi had been content to let things play out naturally. She had just returned after a century of exile and Soifon was understandably hurt, though less so now that she knew the reason for her departure. Not only that, but Yoruichi was less than comfortable with big, emotional displays. She may be a bit of a tease, but that was to cover up the fact that she really didn't know how to act in most circumstances. She blamed it on her less than normal childhood.

However, Yoruichi's plan to slowly woo the raven-haired woman was shattered when Soifon found an anonymous box of chocolates on her door step. Yoruichi had played it off, but the idea that she had competition truly scared her. So, she began to leave her own gifts, one-upping her competitor. She had left the second box of chocolates, the expensive camera, and the bouquet.

Soifon stood up from her desk and left the office. Slowly, making sure as to not make any noise, Yoruichi crawled through the window. Tip-toping up to the desk, Yoruichi unfastened the clasp of her jacket and took out a plush black cat.

"Damn it," Soifon sighed several feet away from the door to her office, "I forgot the requisition form." Turning around, Soifon walked back to her office.

Reiatsu masking was second nature to the Captain of the Onmitsukido, and the hustle and bustle of the rest of the Seireitei made it very difficult to pinpoint the resting reiatsu of anyone, let alone someone who made a practice of masking theirs. Therefore, Yoruichi nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the shoji to the office slide open.

The two women stood there for a moment in silence; Yoruichi frozen with the plush cat in her hand, Soifon staring wide eyed in the doorway.

"Yoruichi-sama?" Soifon whispered. Yoruichi was at a loss for words. She hadn't planned for this. Should she fess up to Soifon, or should she play it off as a joke. The silence continued as Yoruichi weighed her options.

"Ah.." Yoruichi scratched the back of her head nervously. "This is exactly how it looks, Soi."

"So it was you the whole time?" Soifon asked, red creeping up her cheeks.

"No, I didn't start until that other guy did." Yoruichi smiled sheepishly.

Soifon opened her mouth, but no words came out. The room started to spin and her legs gave out. Yoruichi looked on as Soifon fainted where she stood.

_Well_, Yoruichi though as she rushed to catch the woman before she hit the ground. _That was certainly a reaction_.

* * *

Soifon opened her eyes to see the ceiling over her bed.

"You're awake." Yoruichi was seated to the side of the futon, her legs crossed.

"How long was I out?" Soifon asked as she started to blush, both at having fainted and the reason she did so. She sat up and rested her back against the wall.

"For about a half an hour." Yoruichi answered softly. Soifon spotted the plush cat that Yoruichi had been putting on her desk when she caught her. Without thinking, she grabbed it and hugged it against her chest. It was soft and it's "fur" was smooth.

"So, should I take that as a sign that you won't have me drug off to have god-only-knows what done to me?" Yoruichi asked anxiously. Soifon only nodded. Cautiously, Yoruichi crawled onto the bed and sat next to her, her back against the wall. Ever so slowly, she snaked her arm around Soifon's waist, wary of any signs of rejection. There were none. In fact, Soifon rested her head on Yoruichi's shoulder, her checks still red.

"How much of that stuff was from you?" Soifon asked, angry at herself for having destroyed the gifts the woman she had pinned after for almost her whole life had given her.

"Whenever that guy left you something, I would leave you the same thing, only better." Yoruichi answered, amazed but relieved that everything had gone over so well.

"So that nice camera was from you?" Soifon asked, trying to contain the urge to scream with joy over the revelations that just occurred. It would ruin the moment.

"Yep." Yoruichi answered, smiling with pride.

"Do you think you could get me another one?" Soifon asked bashfully. "It was a really nice camera and mine is getting old." Yoruichi's answer was to squeeze Soifon closer to her and give her a gentle kiss.


End file.
